Never Mind That No Kingdom Was Ever Won
by Severuslovesme
Summary: He loved Violet. He loved Violet and she didn’t love him back, or she might but he couldn’t get up the courage to say anything, so he would never know.


Cooper was pacing, because pacing sometimes helped people clear their minds, or so he'd heard. It wasn't working so far, but he lived in hope. Of course, hope was what got him into this mess in the first place.

He loved Violet. He loved Violet and she didn't love him back, or she might but he couldn't get up the courage to say anything, so he would never know. He loved Violet and Pete was looking at him kind of funny lately, and here he was pacing because he was too much of a coward to admit his feelings.

Each time he passed her office he looked in surreptitiously, trying to gage her current level of Cooper-love. She was working, so it was kind of hard to tell.

It was just…every time he spent time with her outside of work, he had to fight the renewed urge to tell her how he felt. And since he basically now felt like a ten year old was braver than him, he really wanted to tell her. But he wasn't going to. Because he was a coward.

On his next lap he saw her smile at something on her computer. Her smile was his favorite thing about her…ok he had a lot of favorite things about her, but it was definitely up there It lit up her whole face, and he would swear that there was a specific 'Cooper' smile. It was the best smile of all, in his opinion.

But he also loved her hair; and how she sometimes stood really close to him when they talked, and he could smell her perfume; and he loved how in the summer she got freckles on her nose, which she hated; and he loved listening to her laugh; and he loved how honest and kind she was. He even loved that she was a little crazy, because it was charming.

She caught his eye on the next lap, and waved and smiled. It was the 'Cooper' smile. He smiled weakly back and kept walking.

He had to do something. Say something, maybe just grab her and kiss her. But he could still picture her face the last time he tried to kiss her, the mixture of laughter and hurt, and he hated himself for suggesting that being with her would be settling; it was his pride trying to salvage a little bit of his wounded dignity.

The pacing wasn't working. Possibly it was making things worse. He stopped and banged his head against the wall a few times. That didn't really help either.

He just wanted to get up the courage to tell her how he felt, to get it off his chest and ideally out of his mind. Ok, he also wanted her to smile, the big 'Cooper' smile preferably, and tell him she felt the same way. Then he wanted to take her home and order takeout with her and make love to her and wake up with her and do the same thing every day for the next 50 years.

Was that so hard? Yeah, ok, it was basically impossible. Because she was Violet, and she was his best friend and she was still hung up on Alan – don't start thinking about Alan, you'll be punching walls next – and he didn't think he could bear it if they weren't friends anymore.

Ok, but he would be fine. They could watch movies together and commiserate over Alan and Internet dating, and things would stay pretty much the same, but he could live with that. Would live with that. He had, after all, been living with it for the past year or so. Because not being her friend was pretty much the worst outcome possible.

He was trying to be a man. It was hard.

Addison walked out of her office to return the McMurphy file to Dell's 'domain.' Suppressing a smile she handed it over, and caught a glimpse of Cooper pacing down the hallway.

Walking over to say hello and ask if he would consult on her two o'clock appointment, she noticed that he wasn't just pacing, he was muttering to himself and shooting frequent, covert glances towards Violet's office.

She stopped him in the middle of what looked like a familiar circuit with a questioning "Cooper?"

He blinked and his eyes focused on her for the first time.

"Is…everything ok?" She was smiling, but she noticed that Cooper wasn't.

"Addison. Hi." Cooper looked like he was a million miles away, she thought.

"Is everything ok?" she repeated.

He threw a glance back over his shoulder, at Violet again. "Yeah," he said with hesitation. "Everything's fine." He gave her a smile that didn't fool her for a second.

"What's up with Violet? Did you guys have a fight?" Cooper flinched when she said Violet's name, and ran his hand through his hair.

"No! No fight. Nary a fight to be seen." He was avoiding her eyes.

Oh my god, Addison thought. Cooper was pining. That's what that look meant, that's why he was pacing like a crazy person, maybe that explained the Internet hookers a little. Cooper loved Violet, and Violet being Violet, she was completely oblivious. Though maybe not averse to the idea – Addison had seen the way her hand curled around Cooper's arm the night they came over to watch Sam's stripper, proprietary and natural, and completely unconscious. She'd seen it and filed it away under the folder called ' hmm, I wonder what that means' in her brain.

"Cooper…" she began, but trailed off. How to approach this? She liked Cooper and Violet, but she wasn't best friends with either of them. Still, people deserved a little happiness, and they were both so obviously lonely.

"You should tell her how you feel," she said at last. He just looked at her.

"I can't," he said quietly, and walked away.

Addison was still staring after him when Pete came up behind her.

"Hey, I've got a patient who is possibly in need of your services, can you help me out?" He smiled at her with his I'm-so-charming-look-how-charming-I-am smile.

Addison moved away from him a little, still watching Cooper walk away. The defeat was evident in the line of his shoulder, in the slump of his neck. Pete eventually noticed her distraction.

"Ok, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"No."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Addison." He smiled his charming-guy smile, and she didn't really feel like dealing with that today.

"I'm worried about Cooper," she finally admitted.

"Why? Did you walk in on…no, you know, sorry, why?" Pete was visibly flustered. She didn't think she'd ever seen a flustered Pete.

"What's up with _you_?" she demanded.

Pete paused. "I had a … disconcerting conversation with Cooper yesterday," he finally said.

"About Violet?"

Pete stopped walking. "No, about… you know what, I don't even want to get into it. Why would it be about Violet?"

"No…reason." Addison tried to inject a note of whimsy into her voice, but she could tell Pete wasn't buying it. The furrowed brow, and the way he said, "I'm not buying it" were big clues.

She was about to protest further when she saw Violet emerge from her office, greeting Cooper, who was looking over a patient file at the reception desk, distractedly and heading in the direction of the break room. Addison watched Cooper watch her go, the longing evident on his face.

She patted Pete on the shoulder, saying, "I'll talk to you later." She followed Violet, trying to appear nonchalant. "Just getting a cup of coffee!" she announced to no one in particular.

Violet was poking around the fridge when Addison entered the break room, shutting the door with a very audible thump. Looking behind her she smiled and said, "Hey Addison. How's your day going? Have you seen my cottage cheese?"

"Violet. Let's talk." Violet eyed her suspiciously.

"Is this because we shared? I'm glad we shared, but I don't really want to share right now, so could we maybe postpone the sharing?"

"This isn't really sharing. Consider it pseudo-sharing." She smiled, trying to be convincing.

"Ok, fine, share."

"So you know how in all those romantic comedies the main character realizes at the end that she's been in love with her best friend all along, and they get together and it's wonderful and so much more fulfilling than chasing the dangerous guys?"

Violet looked skeptical. "Are you trying to tell me you're in love with Naomi?"

"What? No! I'm trying to talk about how sometimes you love someone and you don't realize it."

"Ok, who do you love without realizing it?" Addison sighed.

"I don't love anyone. I wasn't talking about myself."

"I'm confused."

"I know! That's what I want to talk about. Confusion, and being blind to things that are right there."

Violet backed up a little. "Are you ok? You're acting like more of a crazy than usual."

Addison sighed. "Ok, obviously trying to be subtle is not working. I want to talk about Cooper."

"What about Cooper? Is he ok?"

"Yes, he's fine. Relatively speaking."

"What do you mean, relatively speaking? Is something going on with him? Why did he tell you and not me?" Violet was obviously distressed, which only fueled Addison's frustration.

"You are pathologically self-absorbed!" Addison didn't exactly yell it; it was more of a half yell. She didn't mean to yell, but this whole situation was getting to her, just a _little _bit. People had this love, staring them in the face, and they just ignored it. That wasn't ok with her anymore.

Violet just stood there, mouth open.

"Cooper has feelings for you." Addison felt a little sick while saying it, like she'd eaten the porridge that was too hot.

"What?" Violet visibly staggered, slumping back against the refrigerator in shock.

"You should talk to him about it, not me, but yeah. He has for a while. It's eating him up inside."

"I don't understand. He's never said anything; we've never talked about this, are you sure? I mean, really, really sure? Because I think I would know! Cooper is my best friend, I would know if he felt that way about me." Violet was visibly panicking.

"Cooper has really never said anything to you about his feelings?"

"No! I mean, he tried to kiss me once, but that was only because I told him to be a man, and he said he had something to tell me yesterday, but I was so fixated on Cami's pee…" she trailed off.

"Maybe try listening next time?" Violet opened her mouth, probably to protest, but Addison cut her off.

"I know, it's new, it's cutting edge, four out of five dentists haven't given their opinions yet, but try it." With that Addison left the room.

"What were you and Violet arguing about in the break room?" Naomi appeared out of nowhere and Addison jumped a little.

"Holy shi- don't do that again." She frowned at Naomi and walked toward her office.

"No, seriously, tell me." Naomi fell into step beside her.

"Um, I may be interfering in Violet and Cooper's relationship. Or potential relationship. Or whatever. Maybe."

Naomi smiled. "Playing matchmaker doesn't really seem like your style. Also please be aware that I'm internalizing my freak out about Violet and Cooper dating. Doesn't that seem like, oh, I don't know, a recipe for _disaster_?"

"Hey!" For some reason Addison felt defensive. "I think they'd be great together, and he obviously cares about her a lot, and she needs to get over Alan for real this time, and stop looking at me like that!"

Naomi continued to give her a look. "Why the sudden altruism?"

Addison did her best not to look guilty.

"Well to be honest I'm hoping they'll suck all the unrequited love out of the office if they get together. Then there won't be any left to torment me about Pete."

Naomi paused. "You…realize that literally makes no sense, right?" Addison sighed.

"No sense. Not even a little. I don't even think I really understand what the words mean."

"Ok! I get it." Addison stormed to her office and shut the door loudly behind her. She didn't slam it, because she was 37 years old and did not slam doors.

So that was the thanks she got for trying to do something nice: Violet yelled at her and freaked out, Cooper was completely oblivious, and Naomi thought she was insane. Just great.

Violet needed to think. Or possibly go throw up. Or possibly find the nearest bar and get so drunk she forgot her own name. And Cooper's.

She walked to her office, her distress like a fog around her, but she saw Cooper coming down the hallway and panicked. She ducked into the nearest office, which turned out to be Sam's. He looked up from the file he was writing.

"Hey Violet, what do you need?"

She moved further into the room, away from the glass walls, and declined to answer. Approaching Sam's desk she sat down to the side of it, where she was, she hoped, invisible from the lobby.

"Violet…mind if I ask what you're doing?" Sam was looking down at her, resigned to the strangeness of the situation.

"Hiding," she whispered, and put her head down on her knees. He sighed, and she heard the scratching of his pen again.

Ok, she thought, shit, think, what would you tell a patient to do in this situation? But that line of thought just reminded her of Cooper, and then she was thinking about how he made her laugh, and held her when she cried, and always took her side, and ok sitting like this gave her a crick in her neck.

Violet heard Sam get up and leave the office, leaving the door open despite her hissed injunction to close it. So she heard him when he struck up a conversation with Dell at the front desk.

"Is something going on today? People are acting… strange."

"I don't know," said Dell. "There've been a lot of heated conversations in the lobby and the break room, and Addison snapped at me when I asked if there were any cases of hers I could assist on."

"Mm. Maybe I'll go ask Naomi."

"No, I'll ask her, your 3 o'clock is waiting in the exam room."

The door was still open, so she heard Pete walk into his office next door. She couldn't see him from where she was curled up by the desk, but he could obviously see her, because he immediately came into Sam's office.

"Violet?"

"Pete, shut the door!" she whispered. He did, and walked over to the desk.

"What…are you doing?"

"Hiding," she gritted out, because really, wasn't it obvious?

"What, is Alan here or something?" He sat down beside her.

"No. Not everything is about Alan."

"So why are you hiding then?"

"Just…I'm hiding," she insisted.

"Seriously, what's going on?"

Violet looked at him. She could tell Pete. Pete wouldn't say anything mean. Probably.

"Addison told me that Cooper has feelings for me."

"Cooper? And you? Wow. Ok." He laughed a little.

"Shut up. Cooper's my best friend."

"I know. I'm just trying to get used to – oh." He stopped talking.

"What?"

"I walked in on him in the bathroom yesterday, saying I love you, and I thought…ok never mind what I thought. But I guess that explains it."

Violet took a minute to digest this.

"He loves me?"

"Yeah, you knew that."

"No, Addison said feelings. There was no mention of love. You have blindsided me with the love!" She smacked his arm.

"Ow! Ok, sorry, sorry, I figured that was implied, plus I mean, the way he looks at you, is it really surprising?"

"The way he looks at me?"

"Yeah, like he could never get enough of looking at you. Or something. Whatever. He loves you." Pete put his arms behind his head and stretched.

"Are you hyperventilating?"

"No. I'm fine."

"Because, if Cooper is filling you with this much panic, I should remind you that I'm single. And in no way in love with you. But, it would be fun."

She glared at him. "Shut up and go bother Addison."

He smirked and stood up, giving her a friendly pat on the head as he left.

Violet leaned back against Sam's desk, letting her head it with an audible and painful thunk.

"That looks like it hurt," commented Sam from the doorway. Violet dove behind the desk again.

"Sam! Shut the door!"

He did, and walked over to her, squatting down at eye level.

"Seriously, Violet, what's going on?"

"I don't know, Sam. I just need to hide and think for a little while."

"But you can't hide in your own office?"

"It's a pretty obvious hiding spot."

"Good point. Ok, do your thing, I'm just going to sit here and be a responsible doctor."

She scowled at him and he sat down at his desk very quickly, not looking at her.

Ok, think, Violet. Think. Cooper was her best friend. He was her best friend in the world, and he knew her better than anyone else. She needed him to keep being her friend. She needed him to tell her when she was being crazy, she needed him to back her up, she needed him to tease her out of Alan-induced funks…she just needed him. Cooper. Her best friend.

Violet felt like someone had turned a light on, or something, and god, she thought, I've got to stop renting every chick flick that comes out. She loved Cooper. Cooper apparently loved her, and she loved him back. Wow. Ok.

If Sam thought it was strange that she was sitting on his floor and hyperventilating, he didn't mention it.

The question now, was what exactly was she going to do about it? Nothing for the moment, that was for sure.

From her view by the desk the lobby looked empty. Taking the opportunity, she gave Sam a grateful glance and crept to her office, ready to throw herself to the floor at the slightest hint of Cooper.

Moving swiftly to her desk Violet began gathering her purse and sweater, not thinking beyond the instinctive desire to flee. She just, she needed to think about this more, and thinking meant sitting at home with some ice cream and lots of liquor and not being here.

She was rummaging in her third drawer, looking for her car keys, when the door opened. She jumped. It was Cooper.

"Acting a little twitchy today, Violet." He smiled a lopsided smile.

"Hey, Coop," she replied quietly.

He moved toward her slowly, like someone approaching a wounded animal, afraid they're going to get attacked. He looked into her eyes for the first time that day, and she sucked in a breath, suddenly dizzy.

"Addison told me she talked to you. And then she yelled at me for not talking to you before now."

"She yelled at me too." Violet slowly walked out from behind the desk. He smiled.

"That's what she said. Then she called me an impudent man-child."

Violet laughed, and watched Cooper visibly relax at the sound.

"Um, so I practiced this. For a while. I even wrote it down, but I threw that version away." He looked sheepish and she felt a rush of affection for him. This was Cooper. Her friend, and maybe more. They could do this.

"Uh, well," he stammered. "Things have been said, and I wanted to be the one to say them, even though Addison kind of did already, but still, I should say it, because that's what a man would do, and I'm trying to be a man, and being with you wouldn't be settling, it would be opposite of settling, because you're amazing, and I know I date women from the Internet, but I don't want to anymore, and ok, you need to talk now." He was still looking at her, but he looked ready to bolt. Or pass out.

"I…feel the same way. Not about the Internet hookers, but everything else. " She smiled. She felt it stretching her face – it was the smile that she sometimes thought of as 'the Cooper smile.'

He smiled a real smile this time, and let out the breath he'd been holding, and walked toward her. She'd just now noticed that he towered over her – what a funny thing to ignore about a person you saw every day, she thought. Then he was right next to her, and she didn't think anymore.

"Cooper," she breathed, right before he kissed her.

They'd always been touchy-feely friends, lots of hugs and forehead kisses and arms around the shoulders. But none of those touches ever made her feel the way she was feeling now – like she'd gladly jump out of her skin to be closer to him.

He was still kissing her, and it should have felt wrong, because this was _Cooper_, but it didn't. It felt like coming home, and she was definitely going to delete every chick flick from her Netflix queue, because, seriously.

He was warm against her, his shirt crisp under her fingers, and he smelled like Cooper, which was instantly comforting. He drew back to look at her.

"I really, really love you." He kissed her throat and she sighed, and then he was kissing his way down it.

"You know, this is a classic case of – " He laughed against her collarbone, and her skin tingled.

"What?"

"Don't do the shrink thing, please." Then he was smiling, she could feel it against her skin, and she smiled too, and kissed him again.

Kissing Cooper was wonderful, perfect, nothing like kissing Alan –

Violet paused for a moment, removing her lips from Cooper's. What if they couldn't make this work? What if she pushed him away, or was crazy, and they broke up and couldn't be friends any more?

"I –" she began, but was interrupted. Possibly Cooper could feel the tension that she was suddenly radiating.

"I _love_ you. Because you're my best friend and you're annoying and wonderful and so beautiful that I can't bear it sometimes. So don't freak out, please."

Cooper looked at her like she was beautiful, like she was a miracle, and she melted against him.

"We'll always be friends, Vi, I promise. Now we just get to be something else, too." He kissed her forehead.

Violet smiled and laid her head against his chest.

Sam glanced up from the file he was holding as Violet and Cooper walked through the door. He looked down again, but immediately looked back up. Were they holding hands?

He turned towards Addison, who was coming out of the break room with a cup of coffee. He watched as she caught Violet's eye and winked. Violet and Cooper both grinned.

Sam moved to intercept her, keeping an eye on the couple making their way through the lobby. He cleared his throat to get her attention and gave her a pointed look.

"What did I miss?"

Addison just laughed.


End file.
